Old Love...Leave me Alone! Are you Loving in the Past?

Are you stuck loving in the past? Your Romeo’s or Juliet’s of the past may be good in hindsight but is it, was it, real or are rose-tinted glasses changing your view? All too often we find ourselves at the crossroads of our current relationship. Maybe they’re tough times, maybe it’s disappointment but whatever the case, do you find yourself thinking of a past love? Do you find yourself thinking “I was happier then…” Or have you found that a part of you is still angry at someone for something they did to you? A boyfriend who cheated or a girl who just up and disappeared? If you’re still waiting for closure or holding on to old hurts, guess what? You’re still in love. You’re still tied to this person and using rose-tinted glasses to allow you to think they’re worth current thoughts and feelings.

The past is the past for a reason: it’s gone. It’s great to have fond memories, but the present has its own priority, regardless of its difficulties. Being stuck in yesterday handicaps you today and definitely tomorrow. While an old love can have a special place, there’s a reason why they’re a former flame. Remember the real times as you remember the good times too.

Johnny Depp Lives On

Yes, Johnny Depp is alive and well. Not that he was ever in danger of being dead and sick. (Okay that made no sense at all.) It's just that there was a rumor, fabrication, senseless lie, that he died ... in France ... in a car crash. Another version states that he was found dead in his home in France. The online hoax lured users to a fake CNN website: one riddled with bugs and malware. See how destructive gossip can be?

The truth is that Depp is preparing for a new movie, "The Tourist," with Angelina Jolie. The ridiculously famous pair will arrive in Venice next month to start shooting, and hope to keep a "low profile." Producer Graham King told UK newspaper the Daily Mail that having "two of the world's biggest stars making a film together" will make it difficult. Gross understatement.

So ladies, breathe easy. Johnny is still around for you to fawn and dream over. Hey, with his new lease on life, maybe we can get an "Edward Scissorhands 2" out of him! Ya think? Nah.

A Miracle In Haiti - Salvation of the Heart

Authorities state that it is rare, if not impossible, for a person to survive without water for more than 72 hours. Authorities have not met the people of Haiti.

Fifteen days after a magnitude-7 earthquake brought Port-Au-Prince to a pile of rubble, 17-year-old Darlene Etienne was pulled from a wreckage of cement and metal where she lay buried ALIVE since January 12.

Can you imagine the contrast? By then hope was gone and rescue efforts were officially halted in Haiti. But French rescue teams refused to stop. Now, with Darlene's rescue, they might return with radar equipment to search for other probable survivors.

The nation of Haiti has taught us a lesson or two about courage and hope. Countless rescues revealed a man, woman or child being pulled out of what seemed like the earth itself after days of being trapped, with grateful smiles; with proclamations that they were "not afraid, because they knew that God would not let them die; shouting thanks; and even singing praises.

I watch those video clips over and over again, and I wonder if I'd have the heart to survive being buried for several days in total darkness, scorching heat, possible injury and isolation from those I loved and needed. "What would keep me alive?" "What would matter?" But even more importantly, "What wouldn't matter?"

Yes, Haiti and Darlene Etienne's situation is extreme; but I'm compelled to re-evaluate my own life. What do I complain about? What are my discomforts; my pet peeves? What holds me back from being the best I can possibly be? What are my excuses? Am I obsessed with losing weight, how I look, or bad hair days?

I would hope that in dire situations my courage and hope would kick in, but am I even in possession of those attributes anyway? If I'm not feeding my mind and my soul the ingredients needed to produce such strength under pressure, chances are, it won't come out when I need it the most. And if I'm not feeding myself the necessary substances, then what am I ingesting?

The people of Haiti have taught me a lot about myself; looking in on their catastrophe, survival and triumph, I've learned that I have quite a journey of growing ahead of me. I can only hope that one day when those around me (or even myself) need ME the most, that I can become their miracle.

Are you really sexy and single?

So you think your sexy and single? That's great but do you really think you're single and sexy? Do you really believe it or are you perpetrating, frontin' and basically lying to yourself and everyone else? And are you really sexy and are you truly single?

Sexy is defined as attractive, stimulating, appealing and interesting. Another key element of sexiness is confidence. So, while you may think sexy is tight clothes and revealing necklines, are you really sexy or are you playing sexy? How is your confidence level? Get comfortable with yourself and your body. Be fully aware of the balance between your shortcomings and your strong attributes. Sexiness is about evolving and growing through your life. Sexiness is ultimately about energy and you need to know how much you honestly have in order to use the "s" word!

Being single is more than just not being with someone. Are you truly available and ready for a new relationship? Ask yourself if you've let go of that old flame and lingering "ex." If you're still holding on to closure that's never coming, then you're not single. You're just alone. Are you making yourself truly available by going places where single people go or are you tagging along with your old aunt Getrude to her bingo meetings every night? In order to be honestly available, you need to do things that available people do. Allow yourself to be "out there" for people to meet you and discover the greatness you have to offer.

Size Matters at the Golden Globes

Did everyone watch the Golden Globes this past Sunday? For fashion lovers, it was definitely an extravaganza! Penelope Cruz in Armani Prive, Sandra Bullock wearing Bottega Veneta and Anna Paquin in Stella McCartney.

One of my favorites was Mad Men's Christina Hendricks wearing a Christian Siriano strapless peach organza gown. The gown was custom-made for the curvy, Hendricks, displayed adorable ruffles and I thought it complimented Hendrick's curves quite well.

So imagine my dismay when I read a brief write-up by the New York Times' Cathryn Horne in which she quotes a stylist that remarked, "You don’t put a big girl in a big dress. That’s rule number one.” Okay, I know Ms. Hendricks is not the Hollywood size 2, and I readily accept that. I don't take issue with whether or not the dress was right for Hendricks--perhaps the color didn't compliment her fiery red hair well or the ruffles were just too much overall. I take issue with using Hendrick's size--which is not a Hollywood norm--to say whether it the right dress for her or not. The dress fit her perfectly; and she has said commented that she was happy with the results. So what's the problem?

I also take issue with the clearly doctored photo (which has since been removed from the NY Times website, which distorted Hendrick's size to (perhaps?) make their point a bit more clear?

Is Simon Cowell Leaving "American Idol" Without an Idol?

It's official: Simon Cowell, the judge we love to hate, is leaving "American Idol." The cynical Brit has seen the hit TV singing contest through eight successful seasons, and after the currently airing ninth season, Cowell will be saying "Smashing Bye!" The reason? He will be turning his focus to a show that he created and that is very popular in Britain - "The X Factor." Cowell will serve as a judge on the reality show as well as its executive producer.

"I was offered a lot of money to stay on," Cowell said. "But that wasn't the reason behind it. I wanted to do something different. I wanted a new challenge."


It seems like it's Idol producers who are posed with an even greater challenge. Cowell was the show's hugest attraction. As the most critical judge, people loved to hate him, and frankly there are some who simply ... hate him. All that emotion has translated into huge ratings for the highly successful show. Fox is optimistic however, because "The X Factor" will air on Fox as well, giving competitors yet another headache to contend with.

X Factor differs from Idol in that there is no age limit for the contestants. Cowell points to Susan Boyle's success on "Britain's Got Talent." The 48-year-old singer became a surprise sensation and released one of the year's top-selling CDs.



Cowell is not the first celebrity judge to leave Idol. Paula Abdul has already been replaced with Ellen Degeneres, and Cowell has been hinting at the possibility of Abdul joining him on his new show.


"I adore Paula," Cowell said. "Whatever happens, I will be working with her in some capacity, because I miss her."

As far as replacements for Cowell, Fox chairman of entertainment, Peter Rice, is cautious.

"We have to take our time on that," he said. "We have to make sure the chemistry of the judges is as good as it can be."

Without Cowell, will "American Idol" ever be as good as it was? It's only left to be seen.

Man Calls Cops 'Cause Prostitute Won't Deliver

You call the cops when a crime has been committed, right? Right. But what if you are involved in the crime itself, and you have been, well, given the short end of the stick, so to speak? Can you call the coops then? This guy certainly thought so.

Robert Smith of Manchester, N.H. apparently wasn't satisfied with the services he expected to be, well, rendered, so to speak. So he wanted to lodge a complaint. The problem is that accepting these rendered "services" is in itself illegal, and he practically shot himself in the foot.

Smith paid $150 to prostitute Jeanna Mecure who seems to have promised Smith adult fun with her and a third party. When Smith forked over the money and got not so much as a smooch from Mecure, an obvious breach of contract, well, he did what any good law-abiding citizen would do: He filed a complaint ... with the boys in blue ... the cops.

It goes without saying, but maybe it should be outlined in black and white, so here it is. As a general rule of thumb, don't call the cops to report that something illegal has happened to you while you were doing something illegal yourself. (Not that we are encouraging you to successfully do anything illegal, let's be clear.) But ,if you find yourself on the wrong side of the law and then the wrong side of the law were to happen to you, don't you think it's fair to say that you've made your bed so you should lie in it?

Smith was certainly hoping to lie in a bed Sunday night, but, oh well, that ship has sailed.

Conan Loses The Tonight Show Because Jay Failed

When NBC announced in 2004 that Conan O'Brien - then host of Late Night With Conan O'Brien - would leave Late Night in 2009 and succeed Jay Leno as host of The Tonight Show - this was literally a dream come true for Conan. The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien debuted on June 1, 2009, and though low, ratings are rising. So why are there talks that Conan is leaving The Tonight Show and that Jay Leno is taking it back? Conan has been joking on his show, but it is clear that he is not happy about it.




Let's back up. NBC's decision in 2004 to give Conan the show was because Jay Leno was going to retire in 20009. But when NBC heard rumors that Jay was going to start a competing program on another network, they gave him a new contract for a brand new show -The Jay Leno Show - that would air nightly on NBC at 10:00 p.m. EST. That's prime time, when other networks are airing their ... prime time programming!!!

NBC affiliates were complaining that the show's ratings were so low, when their NBC news programming began there were fewer and fewer people viewing. In other words, The Jay Leno Show was a disastrous failure. As a lead-in to the news and late night programming, the show was doing more harm than good.

So why not retire Leno as previously agreed upon? Seems sensible, but that's not what NBC is doing. NBC has stated that they want to move The Jay Leno Show into the time slot for The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien at 11:35 p.m. EST. Next, they want to move The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien to 12:05 EST. Bottom line, Jay gets his spot back, and Conan has to adjust. It's why Conan has been making jokes like this on his show:



Conan is refusing to make this change, prompting NBC to give Jay his entire show back - The Tonight Show With Jay Leno!! Decisions are still in the works, but it appears that Conan's final show will be on Friday, January 22. NBC basically gave him and a contract, and because someone else has failed to deliver, he has to watch as the person who LEFT the show comes back leaving him in the cold.
In one of his monologue jokes, Conan looked into the camera and said to children everywhere something that I wish weren't funny because it's so true. He said, "You can do anything you want to do ..... unless Jay Leno wants to do it too!"

Did Haiti Serve Devil For God-Given Freedom?

On Tuesday, January 12, the nation of Haiti was rocked by a magnitude-7 earthquake that will change the nation forever. Although there is no way to fully understand what the victims are enduring, still, the human nature within us affords us the ability to empathize; to want to help our fellow human beings; to hurt because they hurt. Well, you would think so. There is always an exception to the rule: In this case they're Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh. Pat Robertson is the founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network, and host of The 700 Club. Check out his response to the Haiti tragedy.



Historically speaking, the Haitians were under "the heel of the French," and gained freedom through revolts. Is wanting freedom from the oppression of slavery such a bad thing that the devil is the one who made it happen and not God? In the early 19th century when the French feared that they were losing control of the blacks, their solution was to declare ALL blacks as slaves and to destroy 30,000 men and women. Haitians were burned alive, drowned, hanged, buried in piles of biting insects and boiled ALIVE in vats of molasses.

These brave people had every right to fight for freedom. Mr. Robertson, the history of blacks in this great country tells of revolts by men and women who knew that they had every right to their freedom. I doubt you'd say that blacks made a "pact with the devil" to gain their freedom in the United States of America, because that would awkwardly suggest that slavery was God-ordained and fighting tooth and nail for freedom was not. Furthermore, if it is by the hand of the devil that Haiti gained its independence, was God involved in their freedom?

Robertson's stance that God has punished Haiti for her evil, is self-righteous and cocky. That he can't see past his own religious biases; that he can JUDGE others in their darkest hours speaks volumes!

Finally, I'm not sure that Robertson would ever appreciate someone suggesting that the 9-11 attacks, for instance, came as God's judgment for the sins America has committed. No one would. It would be seen as insensitive, brutal and just plain wrong. I mean, to see those towers collapse, to see the horror of the aftermath, to see people jumping from the buildings to their death, to hear of the death toll, and then to sit in front of a camera on national television and casually say,

"You know what, something happened a long time ago in America, and people might not want to talk about it ..."

Flu season! Tips on Taking Care of Your Sick Spouse!

It's the time of the year when hugging and squeezing is replaced by coughing and sneezing. As we face colds, sinus infections and all kinds of dreaded incarnations of the Flu, many of us will be faced with taking care of our sick sweethearts. How to tend to them and not get sick yourself is a well-learned art. Here is some guidance to avoid ending up ill yourself and finding that a fever is the only heat in your relationship!

Wash Your Hands - While you're dealing with their tissues, hot foreheads and soup bowls, you're being exposed to their germs constantly. As any medical report will tell you, one of the best defenses against catching and transmitting a cold or flu is washing your hands regularly. Consider having hand sanitizer around throughout the house. After you baby your sweetheart, go and wash your hands immediately. Avoid doing it in front of them so they don't feel like they're one giant unwanted germ!

Avoid Sharing Germs - Kissing, hugging and any other physical represenation of your loving should be put on hold. Being close during intimacy whether it be hand holding or sex brings one healthy partner into the sick filled arena of the sneezing, hacking, coughing partner. As they get better, you can start back slow and even then, consider cheek kisses for a little bit!

Sleep Separately - If they've feverish, sneezing, coughing and highly contagious, consider giving them the bed all to themselves while you take the much healthier guest room, couch or floor. Pass it off as letting them be more comfortable in a big bed by themselves (but really you're avoiding their plague!)

Wash Clothing, Sheets, etc - Germs love dirty and unwashed material. Sick people don't like to get in the shower and love to stay in dirty and unwashed clothes and bedding. As much as you can, keep the bedding, sheets, linen and your sick sweetheart's clothing clean. Make them change their clothing often rather than just lay around in their nasty sweats and t-shirts.

Keep Yourself Healthy - Eat right, rest often and make sure you keep your immune system strong with vitamins and lots of fluids. Many times, while taking care of a partner, the healthy person lets their health become secondary and BAM, they fall ill next. Keep your mind and body healthy to fight off the germs in the house.

Get Them to the Doctor - Finally, be ready to get your stubborn lover to the doctor if their illness persists.

Gift Cards - The Little Gift That Keeps on Giving

The Economy. It's the topic on everyone's lips, or at least in everyone's minds. There's a little bit of plastic that could help alleviate some of the financial stress, especially in the post-holiday season where those holiday bills are pouring in. Gift cards. Yep, gift cards. You may feel that the person who bestowed the just-like-cash present upon you is simply asking you to buy your own present, but don't underestimate the power in that little lazy gesture. In this tough economy, they can really come in handy. Here's how to squeeze every little bit out of your gift cards:

1. KEEP IT IN A SAFE PLACE: Put them in the same place you would keep your credit cards, or put them in a designated place for just gift cards.

2. MAKE THE MOST OF THE VALUE: Even though it's a gift card, still use it on discounted items, thus maximizing your use of the balance.

3. USE ALL OF IT!!!: Spending beyond the value of the card ensures that you use the card to its fullest. Remember, even if it's just three dollars on the gift card, it's three dollars that aren't coming out of your pocket!!!

4. USE IT WISELY: Plan ahead of time which items you want to purchase. Don't waste it on items you probably wouldn't have bought any way especially in this economic downturn.

5. SHARE WITH FRIENDS: If you don't like your gift cards, then simply swap with friends. CardHub.com has a feature that allows users to pick their favorite stores so their friends can know what gift cards they'd like.

6. KEEP ON GIVING: Finally, if you get a card before the holidays or special occasion, you can always re-gift your card to someone else, or use the card to actually buy a gift for a loved one.

So, the holidays might be over, but that doesn't mean that you can't still enjoy the bounties of the season. Whip out your gift card, and keep on giving!!

Hume Preaches to Woods?

Broadly speaking, Christians are strongly encouraged to bring their message of salvation to the world. The intent is to spread God's love; to share that love in the form of forgiveness. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." On January 3, Brit Hume, senior political analyst for Fox News, took this message to another level on Fox News Sunday. Click on the video below to see and hear his advice to non other than Tiger Woods.

I paid special attention to the words, "He's (Tiger) said to be a Buddhist; I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So my message to to Tiger would be, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith, and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world." Nonetheless, there was a huge reaction from the viewing public, and Hume was given a chance to clarify his statement on the O'Reilly Factor. Well, see for yourself.

Hume is obviously a Christian, and I am not aiming to prove any one religion as more credible than another. But there are a few issues that have been plaguing my mind since I first heard Hume's words. First of all, despite the fact that Tiger is a celebrity and his very private matters of late have become very public, his issues are between him and his wife. Furthermore, whatever Tiger Woods believes is a private matter; it is between him and his God. Personal relationship with God means personal relationship. If Tiger is in fact a Buddhist, it surely is none of Hume's or anyone else's business. As a matter of fact, whatever his religion, it's a choice he has made and is obviously comfortable with it.

On what basis can Hume authoritatively suggest that Christianity would serve Woods better than Buddhism would? Does Hume KNOW anything at all about Buddhism? I doubt it; he himself said, "I don't THINK that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith." In fact, does Hume know anything about Islam, Judaism, or Hinduism for starters? Again, I doubt it. The basis on which he advised Woods was solely his personal experience as a Christian. Because of HIS private religious experience, he sees it fit to tell another man to convert to HIS religion? That is above and beyond selfish and arrogant.

I'd like to know how Hume would feel if someone were to tell him that the only way he could overcome a humiliating public embarrassment involving a secret indiscretion would be to change his religion from Christianity to Judaism, or Buddhism, or Islam. I'm guessing that he would not like it. When Hume faced a personal tragedy in 1998, he turned even deeper to Christianity. It worked for him and it took him through a very rough period. Great.

However, because this "personal relationship" with the Christian God has given you the spiritual and religious guidance you need; because you are a sold out to your Christian faith; do not assume that the rest of the world need follow. Hume's charge to Tiger basically said, "Your religion is wrong and mine is right." Hume, you do not have the authority to make a such a claim. Furthermore, you do not know Tiger Woods personally, nor do you know what he is enduring. All you should ask is that God offer him strength to survive this difficult period in his life.

So here's some advice for you Hume. Read Matthew 7:3. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

One last question to Hume ... How Dare You?

2010 in Fashion

Welcome to 2010! With this new year upon us and an ever so fickle fashion industry, you know that means the trends are bound to shift. While latex leggings, thigh-high boots and the vamped-up look ruled the trends of 2009, rest assured that 2010 will look a bit different. Here are a few trends to look out for in 2010--well first, please note that you can spot some of the 2009 trends to continue. The most important one? As Karl Lagerfeld famously declared,

"Bling is dead."

So yes, bling will remain in it's resting place for now. However, the color palettes of Spring 2009 which were decidedly bright and bold are being replaced by subdued grays and blacks this season. Girly dresses, lace and any article of clothing that can be accurately described as being "cute" are still in; but androgynous and masculine pieces, leather and any article of clothing that can be described as "edgy" are definitely in. For spring, a sharp blazer, a smart trench and a nice pair of oxfords are a great start to begin building with.

This Paul and Joe Congo trench coat is timeless and very subdued.

And this Alice and Olivia cascade front blazer may not be your "standard" blazer, but it definitely has flair.

And oxfords are fast becoming all of the rage for those who seek a pair of comfortable shoes. These Jeffrey Campbell oxfords from Free People are made of soft leather and look very comfortable. For a more feminine edge, buy a pair of high-heeled oxfords.

Same old or New Attitude - Resolutions for Better Love in 2010

Here we are, beyond the first decade of the 2000s. And amidst ideas like losing weight, getting a better job and paying off our debt, having that better relationship and better love could be the best resolution yet. Loving better sounds great but where do we start?

Changing the way we love in 2010 is simple. But it requires some honesty and hard looks at ourselves. Look at where you're unhappy in your relationship. Is it sexually? Is it about communication? Taking a good close look at where you're unhappy is necessary and so is looking at where you are happy. Knowing the areas where you are satisfied can remind you of your partner's good points and also what you find fulfilling so you can look for more of it. Also ask your special someone about where they are unsatisfied/satisfied will give you and your relationship a new direction for 2010.