Restoring trust in a broken relationship

Maybe it's mistrust from lies. Maybe it's hurt from deception. Maybe it's hiding money, too many nights out at the club or something as bad as cheating. Whatever the reason, once trust is lost in a relationship, restoring it is extremely difficult. When hearts hurt and relationships are broken, how can we go back to allowing ourselves to be vulnerable?

Own your feelings - You're going to be hurt. You're going to be angry. There will be disappointment and doubt. While most people may run from these emotions, you cannot bottle them up. Realizing that there are valid negative feelings will help begin the healing process within one another. Otherwise, you'll be play acting and rebuilding on a false foundation.

Both of you must be sincere - The one who screwed up must be genuinely sorry and the one who accepts the apology must genuinely accept it. Too often people accept "I'm sorry" only to secretly wait to get back at the offender with their own lying or affair. Being sincere means letting go of the past and establishing a sense of vulnerability again that the relationship will need.

Forgiveness is key - Forgiving the person who screwed up as well as they forgiving themselves is a neccessity. Holding onto resentment and harboring thoughts of revenge will deteriorate your relationship before it truly gets started. Whether it be through counseling, prayer, talking it out with friends or all of the above, forgiving one another and yourselves is a great step towards healing a broken relationship.

Old habits cannot be repeated - Nothing damages an already wounded relationship like wounding it all over again. Lying, stealing, hiding or cheating will open up wounds barely closing on the surface, much less deeper still. When trust has been broken, whatever acts that broke it cannot be repeated at all. New habits need to form which promote the relationship, not damage it.

A new relationship has to start - Many times, a wounded relationship cannot be restarted. A new one must take its place. Take the time to explore one another, date one another and discover yourselves as you move into a fresh start, leaving behind some of the pain and difficulty that lurked in the past. Don't turn a blind eye to what happen but realize that you may have been two people who need a new beginning with each other.