• Listen - Your spouse or partner has just lost their job on their layoff day. They are in great pain and need you to open up your ears. Listen, listen and listen to them as they express their feelings. This will allow them to feel their importance which is something that their job just took away.
• Get the Details - Knowing what's happened on your spouse's layoff day is important to what happens next. Gently ask questions such as "Is there anything you need to get?" "Is there any paperwork that you need to sign?" "Did they give you details on insurance?" Ask to see the paperwork so you can answer your own questions without making them feel grilled.
• Reassure - They need to feel that tomorrow will be okay. If they're worried about the car note or frightened about the mortgage, reassure them that everything will be fine. Even if you don't know how, reassure them that life continues on.
• Get physical - In this moment, they are unemployed and unsure. They need to feel safe, loved and grounded. Give a hug, kiss a forehead, hold a hand. Your spouse needs to know that you stand with them.
• Comfort the creature - Whether it's a nice lunch or dinner, a rented movie (because they don't want to cry in public) or some sudden intimacy, go for the creature comfort. This is a quick band-aid on a wound but it can help them with the sudden shock.
• Circle the wagons - Call in support on your spouse's layoff day if needed. Their siblings or good friends can help shore up against the negativity they feel closing in. Be highly selective as the wrong person can do considerable damage. Also invite people your spouse has already told so that you don't break the news for them.
Surviving your spouse's layoff day is a traumatic moment that can hit anyone. Choosing to listen, get the details, reassure, get physical, comfort the creature and circle the wagons can be the difference between coming together or falling apart.
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