Avoid the Hellidaze! Tips for surviving the holidays with your special someone

It's that time of the year. The holidays are upon us and while there is yuletide spirits in the air, there is also stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, the seasonal stress hits our relationships the hardest. However, with a little work, love and these helpful tips, you'll be under the mistletoe with your sweetie in no time.

• Think about your spouse’s past holiday stories – Your sweetheart has told you stories about their family. Whether it was eating turkey the night before Thanksgiving, opening gifts Christmas Eve or going to temple with their special aunt, you’ve heard stories about your baby’s holidays. Turn back your mental recorder and take note of what’s been important to their celebrations.

• Mentally review previous holidays you’ve shared with your spouse – Did they put special focus on the prayer of giving thanks? Did they make sure it was a real tree instead of a fake one? What events made them happy as a sugar plum fairy, sad like a lump of coal or happy like a joyous elf? This information will help you know what's important to your partner and what's not that big of a deal for the holidays.
  

• Get an early view of seasonal plans – Talk to your family and your spouse’s family (if you can) ahead of time. When you know what’s coming, you can try to plan and maneuver yourself around the pitfalls ahead. Inquiring about what’s going on may allow you to get in on the planning phase. You could be able to help schedule and avoid stress!
  

• Communicate – Talk, talk and talk with your spouse. Plain and simple. Make sure you both know that neither of you is trying to “get over” on the other one. Emphasis that while you’ll be running around seeing each other’s family, the holidays are about YOUR family (you two) together first and foremost.

• Volunteer – Doing community service together can get your perspectives in order. You’ll naturally feel the good work you’re doing radiate into you both. Plus, you’ll be helping out others.

• Be flexible – It will take some managing here and there. It will be give-and-take but in the end, after good meals, happy moments and joyous time, your hazardous-holiday minefield-maneuvering will have been worth it.